December 29, 2018

Vampires of Pittsburgh - Strip Club

[Posted by Ted H]

...Yes, we're at a strip club.
...No, we won't be here again...
...Maybe...

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[Vampires of Pittsburgh - Strip Club]

            The strip club was having a slow night, which made things a gamble. Sometimes the lack of clients made the girls more cutthroat to claim clients for their own, or sometimes the girls resigned their apathy to the clubs atmosphere. Unfortunately the night was shaping up to be the latter. Nick knew better than to panic though. Panic leads to desperation, and strippers tended to avoid the desperate clients, especially in today's day and age.
            One girl was making her way nearby that had caught Nick's eye all night. Dark skin, with smooth legs leading right to an oversized ass that seemed tight and inviting, not to take anything away from her other ample curves. Nick decided now was time to make his play; He leaned back and gave off an angry stoic look, but not too angry. He turned his gaze to slightly ahead of the strippers path so eye contact would seem incidental.
            "Hey baby," she said as she approached, flashing a genuine smile as she helped herself to a seat right in Nick's lap. "Sup," Nick said as he turned his head slightly to her, acting like he had been paying attention to the girl on stage. "You seem pretty lonely over here," the stripper cooed "Want some company?" Nick acted like he was pondering her question. "Sounds like a good idea," he said with a slight grin, which the stripper ate up. She leaned closer to him, her lips practically on his ears and whispered "I could keep you better company in back if you like."
            Nick was ready to close when he noticed Kyle approaching. "Shit," he said under his breath as the man walked over with two beers in hand. "Sup, bitches!" he proclaimed as he offered Nick a beer. "Hey good looking," he then said to the stripper, who Nick could feel was losing interest in the whole situation. "You still trying to get a dance, man?" he asked back to Nick. "He with you?" the stripper asked. "Uhhh..." Nick said.
            "Hey, when you're done with Nick in back, I wouldn't mind some brown sugar," Kyle said before he took a long sip from his bottle. "I don't do white boys," she said as she stood up. "Wait-" Nick tried to salvage. "You boys have fun," the stripper said as she walked off, Nick and Kyle watching her walk away before Nick decided to address what just happened.
            "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Nick said, finally taking the second bottle out of Kyle's hand. "Dude, it's not my fault you're so slow at this," Kyle said as he sat down in the open seat next to Nick so they could both watch the dancer on stage "In the time it took for you to *finally* get that stripper in your lap, I threw money at the main stage, talked to a few girls, took one in the back, had a cigarette out front, tried to get that earlier girl's number, got a couple beers and *still* had time to blue ball you."
            "I hope you get syphilis," Nick said without looking away from the stage.
            "Why are you so picky in strip clubs?"
            "Black strippers are superior."
            "I've seen you with some ugly ass women in my life. You have no standards."
            "Strip clubs are where I can play safe odds. There's always at least one fine ebony at a club every night. I never need to settle when I know a knock out girl is waiting for me when I'm here."
            "You're an idiot."
            "You're a cock block."
            "You cock block me all the fucking time, don't even start."
            The current dancer on stage ended her routine and worked to clean up her clothes and money before the next girl arrived. Nick and Kyle drank in silence until the lights dimmed and the new girl began her routine. "C'mon," Kyle said as he slapped Nick's arm "Let's have some fun." Both men approached the main stage and sat down.
            "Alright gentlemen," the DJ announced over the booming sound system "Time to get out your dollars and show some love, it's Crystal on stage!"
            "I bet she does meth," Kyle said.
            "Man, shut up!" Nick almost had to shout. The music was obnoxious at the main stage.
            "I'm just sayin," Kyle defended "She's lanky and malnourished. Probably took this job to pay for more meth, took the name thinking it was funny and witty."
            "She don't look honky tonk enough."
            "Look at her cheek bones. I even think I see bags under her eyes."
            "Why are you looking at her cheek bones?" Nick demanded just as Crystal pulled off her top to reveal her breasts to a cheering crowd of 6 other men.
            "I bet she's missing teeth."
            "You're full of shit."
            "Hundred bucks says I'm right."
            "You're on."
            Both men shook hands and began cat calling the stripper, trying to elicit a smile. She ignored them for the most part and carried on in her routine, wearing just a small pair of panties. When she hinted she was at the point where they would come off, Kyle leaned forward and shouted towards the stage "Yeah baby, I can't wait anymore! I need to see that *ass*!"
            Crystal winked and gave a slight smile as she began lowering the last shreds of her clothing. Despite her ample nudity, Nick and Kyle were zeroed in on her mouth when she smiled to reveal the unmistakable sight of a few missing teeth. "Fuck," Nick said quickly as Kyle did a fist pump and cheered, Crystal oblivious to the reasoning and took it as appreciation of her naked body.
            "Maybe she does roller derby or hockey or shit like that," Nick reasoned.
            "I'll take my money now, please," Kyle said with a giant grin on his face.
            Nick took a $100 bill from his pocket and practically threw it in Kyle's face. Before he could say anything, Crystal had approached them on the stage and leaned over toward Kyle. "You enjoying yourself, baby?" she asked. "Oh, I am," Kyle said and pulled out a few singles "And you definitely deserve a tip for it."
            Kyle leaned back and lowered the zipper on his fly, then stuffed the money in the opening. "All yours. Only use your mouth though," he said proudly. Crystal took one look at the money in Kyle's crotch and said "Just a few? Honey, I was expecting something bigger in your pants."
            "Oh shit!" Nick yelled before laughing his ass off. Nearby patrons overhearing were laughing too. Some of them even threw more money at the stripper, who herself looked very content with her jab. "Oh, you wanna be cute?" Kyle said as he reached down and tossed aside the singles in his pants. He then held up the $100 bill Nick had just given him, causing all laughter to stop and catching the full attention of not only Crystal, but every stripper who was watching. Kyle then placed the money into his fly opening and asked "That big enough for ya?"
            Just as Crystal was eagerly leaning in to retrieve the money, Kyle held up his hand for her to wait. "Since you're a bit of a smartass," he said as he used his other hand to slowly push the money deeper into his pants "You're gonna have to earn this one." The $100 bill was now barely visible.
            Before Crystal could act though, a man placed his hand on Kyle's shoulder and said "It's time to go." Kyle spun around in his seat, ready to protest. "I didn't do anything wrong yet," he said as he looked up to see that it wasn't a bouncer trying to kick him out. "Fuck off, Dan, we're busy," Nick said as he turned away. "Seriously," Dan said, ignoring Nick "Now."
            "On whose authority?" Kyle asked "Cuz you sure as shit don't outrank me."
            "The entire high council," Dan said as he turned and walked away.
            "Fuuuuuuuck," Nick said as he and Kyle looked at each other.
            "Think he's lying?" Kyle asked.
            "That fucker doesn't lie about work," Nick responded and stood up. Kyle followed suit, unceremoniously removing the $100 bill and casually tossing it onto the stage where Crystal had long since lost interest in him. Both men walked out of the club and onto the street. It had recently rained, leaving the dark street slick and shiny looking. Dan had crossed the street and was waiting under a street light.
            "This couldn't have waited until morning?" Kyle asked as he and Nick joined Dan under the street light. "I just found out myself," Dan responded. He was wearing a black jacket with dark blue trim, black jeans and leather boots. He had long silver hair that he kept tied back tightly. "Backlash contacted me this morning. Specifically said to get you two idiots in the loop as well."
            "How come he never calls us?" Nick asked.
            "Maybe you should update him on the number for your burner phones," Dan responded.
            "Yeah yeah yeah, whatever," Kyle said "So what's the fucking job?"
            "I don't know specifics," Dan said "Just that it's big and we need to get to Pittsburgh."
            "Pittsburgh?" Kyle and Nick asked in unison. "Problem?" Dan asked after being taken aback. "Oh no problem," Kyle said "Except that it's on the fucking other side of the country."
            "Yes, clearly a huge concern for our line of work," Dan said sarcastically.
            "It's not the distance," Nick corrected "It's November. It's fucking cold up there."
            "I'm sorry that not every end of the world scenario can happen in San Diego," Dan reasoned "But too bad. Get your shit and get moving. We meet in three days."
            "Where do we meet?" Kyle asked as Dan began walking away "Pittsburgh isn't exactly a small place."
            "Maybe you guys should update Backlash on your number so he can tell you," Dan responded without turning around.
            "Maybe you should fuck off," Nick said, then spit into the street in his direction.
            "This blows," Kyle said as a light rain began falling "So what do you wanna do now?"
            "Hmmm," Nick pondered "I want to fuck that meth head in her ass."
            "I thought you were super picky in strip clubs?"
            "Well you fucked me over on the hot chick, now I gotta settle."
            "Meth girl wants my cock, not yours. I was the one with the c-note."
            "She knows who you got it from."

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