March 27, 2016

Pure Human - Breakfast at Anin's

[Posted by Ted H]

Happy Zombie Jesus day!


[Pure Human - Breakfast at Anin's]

            "Answer your freaking phone," Blake said as he listened to the endless ring-back while he cradled John's cell phone in his ear with his shoulder, all while he worked on making breakfast with both of his hands. "When's the last time that guy ever answered you on the first try?" John asked while sitting at the table with his feet up. "There was that one time," Blake said as he gave up on the phone and placed it down "But the world was at stake, so I guess that didn't count."
            "What's for breakfast?"
            "What's ever for breakfast with me cooking?"
            "I've learned to hate eggs."
            "I got cheese and what I believe to be bacon. Anything else for your omelet?"
            "I saw hot sauce in their fridge last night."
            "Oooo, daring."
            "Can you focus? What was the name of the guy you met in Anin's head?"
            "That's way too many vowels."
            "He's behind whatever's happening. We figure him out, we get to the bottom of this case."
            "And what about whatever's going around town slaughtering people?"
            "Right, well, that seems to take priority."
            "Want to talk about why what you did last night involved you staring into Anin's eyes like a long lost lover all night?"
            "Part of the process I guess."
            "Not going to lie, we fucked with you guys a little to see if you'd wake up or notice."
            "Did you draw on my face?"
            "Nah, waved our hands in between your faces. Poked you a couple of times. Joey wanted to punch you in the back of the head to see if you'd notice, but I convinced him not to."
            "Classy. That's all I would've needed was that galoot forcing me out of the dream world right when I was making progress."
            "Learn anything relevant about that anus guy besides his name?"
            "That he needs eye drops or something."
            "So, nothing relevant."
            "Can't assume he says anything I can believe."
            "Except his name?"
            "Oh, types like that guy, it's all about the name. They need you to know who's in charge. He's behind all the killing, and even if we never find out his methods and reasons, he needs all the right people to know he's the one behind it."
            "So we get a hold of Matthew on the phone and..."
            "We tell him the name, he tells us what this guy's deal is and how to stop him. Easy."
            "If you say so. So where to first?"
            "I want to see that cave by the lake again. Maybe we missed something. I also want to try something with that little girl at the hospital."
            "Try what? CPS might want to know what you're planning."
            "Something akin to what Anin and I did last night."
            "You might want to bring Anin just to be sure."
            "Bring Anin where?" Anin asked as she and Joey walked into the kitchen. "I feel ill," Blake said "I think we should go to the hospital." Anin rolled her eyes as she sat down next to John. "There's a little girl from that house yesterday," John explained "She isn't waking up and apparently Blake thinks he can go into her mind like he did to you last night."
            "No, you can't do that," Anin said shaking her head at Blake "You have to actually know what you're doing, especially if the other person isn't allowing you into their mind." She sat up straight and tilted her head at Blake. "See, I knew I'd be useful for this," she said as she smiled "You need me."
            "I guess we're going to the hospital first," John said as Blake shrugged and went back to the stove. "Right after breakfast," Blake said "Now how much hot sauce does everyone want in their eggs?"
            "What?" Anin said.

March 20, 2016

Pure Human - Embrace Eternity

[Posted by Ted H]

"Seconds From Disaster" and "Kitchen Nightmare" are addictive shows to watch. Be warned........


[Pure Human - Embrace Eternity]

            The lights were on all over the house when they arrived. "I don't see Joey's car," John said as they got out and approached the front door. Blake thought about a cigarette, but he didn't have many left. It also looked like it was about to rain and he didn't feel like getting wet. "By the way," John said as he knocked on the front door "Dibs on the guest bedroom." Blake snapped out of his thoughts on the rain. "Wait, there was a bed?" he asked as John smiled. "Cheater," Blake said as Anin opened the door.
            "Hey guys!" she said with a little more spring in her step than what was normal for her. "Hey, Anin," John said "Figured you'd be tired at this point."
            "Nah," she said "Watching some movies and drinking lots of coffee."
            "Coffee?" Blake asked "You got my attention."
            Anin led the way as Blake and John followed her to the kitchen where she had a fresh pot ready. "This place reeks," John commented from the heavy scent of coffee in the air. Under the full light of being indoors, they noticed the dark bags under Anin's eyes. "I thought you were going to get some sleep," John said as he looked into the trash to see several coffee filters "I didn't even know you drank coffee."
            "Got any cream?" Blake asked as he poured himself a cup. "I dunno," Anin said, ignoring John "I've been drinking it straight."
            "Alright," John said "You've had enough, both of you."
            "Dude, chill out," Blake said "Anin's clearly a first timer and went a little hard."
            "She looks like she's about to collapse."
            "So she'll sleep like the dead and have the mother of all shakes in the morning," Blake reasoned "Besides, we need to knock our heads together, the three of us, and try to figure this out." He turned to Anin. "Feel like pulling an all nighter?" Anin's eyes lit up at the suggestion. "Hell yes!" she shouted as Blake and John grabbed seats at the kitchen table.
            They spent several hours trying to figure the different pieces of the case that they knew about. Anin had several books on mythological creatures and being of unknown origin, but there was nothing that stuck out for Blake. They took a map of the area, marked the two houses of known attacks and the lake, and tried to figure out the next possible locations of attack, but couldn't settle on where the creatures might strike next, or what even to do about it even if they could settle on an area of possible houses. Finally, Anin tried consulting several types of stones and tarot cards to attempt to uncover some fact of the creatures, but no clear answer came to her.
            By the time they ran out of remotely useful ideas, it was after 11 and Joey had finally returned home. He walked into the kitchen to see the three still by the table, a mess of coffee, cards, stones and papers all over the place. "Fun night?" he asked as he looked to each of the exhausted people sitting in front of him. "Fruitless one, if anything," Blake said as he pulled out a cigarette and played with it in his hand. Joey looked like he had been rained on a fair amount, but the siren song of a cigarette was eating away at him mind, and he suddenly didn't seem to care as much with getting a little wet.

March 13, 2016

Pure Human - I Think I Found Fido

[Posted by Ted H]

Posted from the past! Gives me 2 weeks to maybe/probably avoid Diarrhea of the Dead...


[Pure Human - I Think I Found Fido]

            John gave off a look as he tossed the tracker back to Blake and reached around for his pistol. He slowly stepped inside and tried a switch. Immediately the front hallway lit up. "Looks okay so far," he said as Blake walked in behind him and shut the door. They slowly made their way down the hall with no signs of life announcing themselves to their presence. "Maybe everyone's on vacation," John suggested.
            "Yeah," Blake said "Way more likely than living in a world where creatures on unknown origin murder a family in the middle of the night, decapitate a small child and slip away without anyone noticing."
            "Technically it's still more likely," John said as they arrived at the basement door. It sat open with blood stained all around the frame. "So, what seems more likely?" Blake asked as John ignored him and pushed the door all the way open with his gun. He tried the light switch for the basement but the room remained dark. "Stay behind me," he said as he switched back on his flashlight and pointed it down the stairs. Every step was covered in blood and claw marks. Carefully, they made their way down.
            The basement was unfinished, with wood panel walls and rugs placed about to cover the concrete. The ceiling lights and other such light sources were all smashed recently, broken shards of glass, some bloody, were strewn about. Blake could hear the wind blow by the open window as he checked the tracker and slowly made his way through the dark, closing in on the source. He stopped when he heard a squishing noise underfoot. He pulled out his lighter and ignited it to get a close look at where he was. The rug was soaked in blood and as he panned around, he found out why.
            "Think I found Fido," he said as he observed the carcass. "What do you mean you think?" John asked as he observed his own found blood splatter. "I mean I'm pretty sure I found the dog," Blake said "It just doesn't look much like a dog anymore." John checked around the entire basement before returning to Blake. "This place is empty," he said but did little to let his guard down "How would the family here not know about what happened down here?"
            "I think we both know the answer to that question," Blake said as both men made their way out of the basement and back up the stairs. They swept through the first floor but didn't find anyone. The second floor was a different scene as they found the bodies of another family mutilated beyond recognition.
            What remained of the parents were lumped in a giant pile on top of their bed, arms and legs had been torn off and all appendages had bite marks all over. There was a teenage son who was left mostly untouched, except his intestines had been ripped out and tossed throughout his bedroom. There was also a young daughter whose eyes had been poked all the way through and completely skinned below the neck. There was no sign of the skin and the body had been discarded to the other side of the bed on the floor, as if she had served her purpose after being skinned.
            "You know, I hate it when I'm right," Blake said as they left the second floor and returned to the front hallway. "We gotta call the cops," John said. "No, we don't," Blake said "We were able to ghost this without anyone knowing we got in here, we call the cops now, they'll assume we had something to do with what's upstairs."
            "So what do we do about it?"
            "We leave. We find the creatures. We go home. We try to forget what we saw upstairs."
            "What do you mean by creatures?"
            "I'm beginning to think there's more than one. No way only one can eat that much, or cause that much damage so quickly. Everyone was killed in their beds. That was too messy upstairs to be done quietly."
            "Lovely," John said "So how do we go about this?"
            Blake thought about it a moment. "I have no idea," he said "At this point all we can do is wait for it, or them, to strike again. Maybe they'll form a pattern of where they're hunting. They obviously left here when it started getting dark, so maybe we can go out tomorrow and see if any house looks broken into."
            "That's a very passive way to go about it."
            "Yeah, but there's little we can do without knowing where to look. I'll try calling Mathew tomorrow with what we know. maybe he's heard of whatever this is."
            They left the house and made their way back to the car. John insisted on calling 9-1-1 but Blake told him to wait on it. They drove in silence the rest of the way back to where Anin was. By then it was pitch black outside and many of the street lights weren't working. John had tried the radio, but his preset stations were all static and he didn't feel like scanning for whatever was local, so he turned the radio back off. Blake preferred the silence; it allowed him to think and process all of the information he'd taken in to this point.

March 6, 2016

Pure Human - Dog Hunt

[Posted by Ted H]

Well, things have been hectic for me lately. Haven't had a chance to keep watching Diarrhea of the Dead to critique....not gonna complain too much, but the whole project is currently hanging over my head...and I hate that...

I'm splitting this next part into 2, not JUST  because I'm lazy like that, but there comes a sudden tone shift between cheeky fun and holy shit that I feel is better when separated...Sue me...


[Pure Human - Dog Hunt]

            John drove down to the house and they began their search for the missing dog, driving up and down every nearby block until the tracker sounded. Then they got out and continued their search on foot. "How many people like Lena are there?" John asked. Blake shrugged. "I know there are a lot," he said "But it's spread out all over the world. I may have exaggerated a little earlier when I said there's an army of people out there."
            "What do you think you have to do to be chosen by God for that?"
            "Lead a boring life," Blake said as he followed where the tracker was indicating. The sun had been setting and darkness was beginning to cover the area. John had his flashlight but didn't feel the need to use it yet. "This tracker is crap," Blake said raising the tracker in the air to see if a better indicator could be given.
            "Do you even know how to use that?" John asked as Blake tossed it to him. "Just follow the beeps," John explained as Blake walked to the middle of the road. Street lights lit up and Blake looked about. "Forget the dog," he said "Where would you hide if you were a monster?"
            "Or a dog just out and about town," John added.
            "Fine," Blake said "A monster or a dog, or a monster with a dog or a dog chasing after a monster. Either way, where would you go to avoid being found or messed with?"
            "A dark hole," John said "But there was nothing by the lake."
            "Must've ran out of food, hence why it ventured out into the world. Couldn't have gone far," Blake said as he looked from house to house. Inside most were lights on and activity. Some houses on the block were dark and quiet. "Probably found another house?" he suggested. Before John could answer, Blake approached the nearest dark house. John followed while looking to the tracker.
            "Anything? "Blake asked. John shook his head. "You sure about this?" he asked as Blake jogged down the street to where he saw another dark house. He went through the lawn and up to a window to peer inside. John came up behind him and was about to say something when he noticed the tracker was indicating they were close to the dog. "Interesting," he said as Blake ran over to the front door, but it was locked. He knocked on the door and rang the doorbell but no one answered.
            "We need to get inside," Blake announced.
            "Yes, let's be criminals," John said "Maybe some family found the dog and took it in."
            "Sure, maybe that," Blake said "OR, what we're looking for is inside and we can actually make some headway in this case."
            John stayed silent a moment before he relented. "Fine," he said "I guess it isn't a real case for us if the police don't try to arrest you at some point." Blake smiled. "That's the spirit!" he said "So, how do we get in?"
            "Just pick the lock," John said. Blake gave him a shocked look. "Sure, but is this how the creature got in?"
            "Do we really need to play the guessing game?" John asked "Can't we just go in and do this fast?"
            "We're investigators, not cops," Blake said "We do it the fun way or we don't bother."
            "I didn't know there was room for the fun way when we're trying to find whatever slaughtered a family," John said as Blake started to walk around the outside of the house. At this point the sun had set beyond the horizon and John turned on his flashlight. "Windows look good," Blake said as he turned the corner of the house into the backyard "They got a glass sliding door in their back as well, but this one is intact."
            "Uh huh," John said while keeping his eyes glued to the tracker. It kept pointing him to the house, so he knew the dog, or at least its tracker, was inside. Blake finished looking over the back of the house and moved onto the other side. "It's getting dark real fast," John said as he looked up to the oncoming night. Blake ignored him as he moved towards some bushes on the side of the house and pushed them aside to reveal a basement window, broken and blood stained. "Then let's get inside quick before it gets too dark," he said with a smirk.
            John panned over the window with his flashlight. "Neither one of us are fitting through that window unscathed," he said as he looked over all the blood. "Yeah," Blake agreed "I guess we'll have to break in." He then made for the front door, looking for his lock pick tools as he ran. "Oh joy," John said sarcastically to himself as he slowly followed. When he arrived, Blake was already hunched over the door, working his tools.
            "I feel inclined to remind you that we are partaking in criminal activity within shouting distance of an active crime scene," John said "A scene which has had no fewer than a dozen cops inside all day with many more constantly coming and going. Increased surveillance throughout the neighborhood would be something to expect as well."
            "So what you're saying is I should work faster?" Blake asked.
            "Not my first thought," John said "But that works too."
            "Easy," Blake assured "I've been practicing."
            "Like the time you locked us out of the apartment?"
            "I was gonna say like the time I eventually got us back inside."
            "After a weekend had gone by."
            "A Labor Day weekend."
            "Just be glad the people here didn't have a deadbolt. Then we'd really have a problem."
            An encouraging click sounded from Blake's efforts as he smiled and withdrew his tools. "After you," he said as he turned the knob and pushed the door open. "Why?" John asked "Because you expect something to attack in there?" Blake nodded "Yes," he said "Also because you're the guy with the gun. So if you do get attacked, feel free to shoot it."