January 27, 2013

Million Dollar Zombie 2-1

[...Posted by Ted H]


...and who doesn't love needless cliffhangers?


[Million Dollar Zombie 2-1]

            “Stay on this road until you reach flashing yellow lights,” Ted said.

            Not much talking had been done during the five hour trip. Not much talking needed to be done. The five men packed into Jack’s truck all knew what job they had to do. Ted was the "guide" while Marko was armed and tasked with killing a zombie, any zombie, and covering the escape. Jerry would drag the zombie corpse to the truck. Jack would serve as the getaway driver and Jay tagged along to take pictures to sell for even more money. Martin had demanded that they get some pictures if they could and since Jay had a degree in photography, he might as well handle the pictures.

            Martin had provided them with the location of the last place the military would quarantine and block off. That was their way in. It was up to them to get their proof and get out before the military would block off their exit. In terms of a time limit before the last exit would actually be blocked off, Martin wasn't sure.
            "Make a left," Ted said as they reached the lights. "So...Ted," Jay said "You used to live here or something?" Ted, Jerry, Marko and Jack were all pretty close friends, but only Marko really knew Jay. The two roomed together for a semester in college and Jay never really had opportunity to get to know anyone else in the group.

            "Didn't live here," Ted answered "Went to college here for a while."
            "What you major in?" Jay asked, not wanting to go back to the tense silence. "Doesn't matter, never finished," Ted answered "Kicked out this semester, Jack hooked me up with a job cuz I couldn't go home." Jerry reached up from the back seat and slapped Ted on the arm. "Not like you're gonna need to worry about money after this, am I right?" Ted didn't answer.
            "First thing I'm gonna do is buy a hooker!" Marko announced. "Sins of the father?" Jay said as a joke but no one took notice. Marko didn't need much convincing to join in the little zombie hunt. He was always game for doing reckless and seemingly dangerous things. Part of that was because there weren't many people around him growing up to tell him otherwise.
            His mother worked all the time and he never met his father. As his mother put it: "That lazy ass Mexican didn't even have the decency to stay the night, let alone for when you were born." His mother was white, and for her sake, Marko was born white. She named him 'Mark', but kids growing up added the O to his name and it stuck, making him 'Marko'.
            The five men had fallen back into silence, which didn't please Jay one bit. He turned to look out his window and snapped some scenery pictures. His memory card could hold about 200 photos; not that he was planning to take that many, but he liked to be prepared.

            "Anyone get an idea on the weather?" Jack asked as he hit the wiper blades. It was early December and the snow had been light in the area until this point but the bleak sky ahead hinted that it wouldn't last. "Lake effect incoming," Jerry said as he fumbled out a cigarette from his coat "But we'll be long gone by time it gets heavy."
            "It's getting heavy now," Jack mumbled as he looked over to Ted who was studying the surroundings through the snow. "Right here," he finally said and Jack stopped the truck. "Go time!" Marko shouted as everyone but Jack got out. "Enjoy yourselves, ladies," Jack said as he cranked the heat and waited for everyone to walk away so he could turn the truck around.
            The plan was simple: Get into town, and figure out what was going on. If it were indeed zombies, then they kill one and bring the body back to the truck to bring back to civilization. They weren't stupid, they weren't going to even attempt to ring in a zombie without killing it.
            "No hero shit," Marko said with a wink as he dug into a bag he brought "Unless of course it makes a good story." Jerry looked up at the falling snow as Jay snapped some pictures of the area. Marko pulled a 9mm handgun out and handed it to Jerry, then pulled another one out for himself. "Something's defiantly up," Ted said "I don't like this one bit."
            "We'll be fine," Jerry said as he checked his gun "Don't pussy out on us now."
            "Weather does put a damper on the plan don't it?" Ted asked
            "No biggie,"

            "In case you forgot, the plan was to listen for a deadie, then discretely lead it back to the truck."
            "Yeah, then we'll take care of business there."

            "I dunno about you, but I'm having trouble hearing much over this wind."

            "So be extra careful."

            "On top of the snow killing all visibility."

            "For fucks sake Ted, you do realize how much money is at stake right? No one said this was gonna be easy. I don't hear anyone else bitching, so man the fuck up already."
            "Actually," Jay said "Now that you mention it, I'm not so hot for this plan either now."
            "I don't fucking believe this," Jerry screamed as he threw his hands in the air.
            "Maybe we could wait for the snow to let up," Marko suggested as Jerry shook his head. "It's only gonna get worse from here," he said "Plus I don't know how long we have what with the army incoming."
            "You ladies gonna get moving or what?" Jack said from the truck.

            "I don't need to remind anyone what kind of payday we're looking at," Jerry said addressing everyone outside "So nut up and let's get this done."

            Jay snapped a picture of everyone before they set off into town. Ted led the way, knowing the town layout, and with the snow, a guide was needed all the more. Jerry and Marko followed, weapons drawn just in case things get out of hand. Jay brought up the rear, taking pictures to sell later since Jerry insisted his cousin shouldn't get all the press.

            They slowly made their way up the street looking for anything, living or otherwise. "Ya know," Jay said "Maybe there's a better explanation than zombies. I heard there was a gas leak or something and it killed everyone." Jerry and Marko turned to stare at Jay for a beat before moving on. Jay hesitated a moment before shrugging. "I guess that would explain the zombies."

            They reached an intersection before Ted stopped. "Two ways we could go from here," he said "Keep going up this street towards the high school or turn here and hit main street." Jerry looked down both streets the best he could. "Main street, probably."

            "Might be too many at once," Marko said. "Best chance to find one quick," Jerry responded. They turned to main street as the snow picked up. "This is stupid," Jay yelled over the wind "We should at least go back to the truck and drive through." Everyone looked to Jerry. "Probably the smarter idea," Ted said as Jerry made a face. "By the time we get back to the truck and drive up here," he started but stopped at the looks he was getting from everyone else. "Fine," he said "Let's head back. Pussies."

            They turned around and made for the intersection when a gust of wind blew through and they stopped at the sound of a moan. "Everyone heard that, right?" Jerry said as they strained to listen over the wind. "Where's it coming from?" Ted asked. Marko aimed his gun out front while Jerry was aiming behind. "Defiantly should make for the truck," Jay said.

            The wind then died down a little and they could hear better, only to find out the moan they heard wasn't alone. "Only need one, right?" Marko asked. "More can only be better, right?" Ted said sarcastically. "Shut up and stay close," Jerry hissed with a lower tone. The snowfall lightened up a little to reveal a small pack of humanoid figures not ten feet from where the men stopped advancing. The three people were slouched and stumbled as they walked as if they were drunk.
            "They don't notice us," Marko whispered. "We almost walked right into the middle of them," Jay added. "We already did," Jerry said as the snow calmed down more to reveal people stumbling all about. "Slowly," Jerry said as they backed up the way they walked in. A distinctive moan sounded as one of the people caught the four men and made for them, catching the attention of others. "They're...they're drunks. That's all," Jay said as he took another picture "This isn't reality. Zombies aren't real."
            "Are you fucking serious?" Jerry yelled as they started to run. "Well we were kind of humoring you for a while," Ted started, but stopped at the sight at the intersection. More figures were stumbling into view right in their path, making a way to the four running men. "Cut through yards!" Ted said as the snow began to pick up again. They started but stopped at the sight of more approaching people. They were cut off from the truck and surrounded.

January 20, 2013

Million Dollar Zombie pt 1

[...Posted by Ted H]

...Because there's nothing short sighted and foolish about embarking on 2 major projects at the same time...right?
The plan right now is to alternate between MDZ and BGI, maybe mixing something small in there every so often so this doesn't become 'the zombie only blog' but whatever.
...and I'd also like to point out the best kind of manuscripts are the unsolicited kinds and I shouldn't need an agent just to submit a fucking request...
...whatever, just another message in a bottle for the ocean...
[Million Dollar Zombie - pt 1]
           “This better be good,” Jerry mumbled as he blindly made his way through the dark apartment. He almost broke his neck when he tripped over an empty beer bottle, all because somebody had the gall to pound on his door at three in the morning. “I swear to God, if you’re a salesman, I’ll shoot you dead where you stand,” he announced as he opened the door. It wasn’t a salesman, it was much worse. “Long time no see, cousin,” Martin said as he let himself in. “Damn, its dark in here. Turn on a light, will ya?”
           “How about, you go fuck yourself,” Jerry said as he shut the door and flipped the lights on. Martin had found a chair and took a seat. “Don’t you even wonder why your favorite cousin is here?” Martin asked.
            “I’m wondering what kind of a death wish you must have by bothering me, let alone at this hour.”


            Jerry and Martin were never close, which was originally the fault of Martin’s father. A long time ago, their grandfather was dying of cancer and it put a tremendous strain on the family. Even though they were children at the time, Jerry and Martin weren’t very different than they were today; Martin was a selfish entitled brat and Jerry hated him. When the grandfather finally died and the family finished the funeral, it seemed that it was time to put everything behind and to move on. That’s when Martin’s father published his newspaper story. Martin’s father was a journalist working for the Times. He was thought to be taking a leave of absence during his fathers death when it turned out he was working on his biggest story yet.
            “Valiant Struggle: The Brave Death of my Father” debuted a few days after the funeral, and it recounted the final days of Jerry’s grandfather in as much detail as the paper could print. Nothing that occurred in the hospital during those final few days were left out. Everything from what doctors said in the open to seemingly private conversations were detailed in the article. It was all capped off by a public and tearful “Goodbye Grampa.” from Martin which touched everyone as a genuine and heartfelt gesture from a spoiled brat. It turned out to be staged by Martin and his father as a perfect ending to the story. The story itself won him a Pulitzer, a promotion, and disowning from the entire family.
            When Martin’s father died while on assignment during the war in the Middle East, no one in Jerry’s family cared. The cries of “My father was a great man!” and “There are no more proud figures in my family” from Martin fell on deaf ears. Then, in his biggest gesture of entitlement to date, Martin announced that he would take up in his fathers stead. The second he received his journalism degree, Martin was offered his father’s position at the Times.
            Despite the legacy he was riding his success on, the rest of the family did not consider him as seemingly evil as his father, so they still included him. That changed when Jerry’s mother discovered a lump in her chest and raced to the hospital where breast cancer was revealed. Jerry grew suspicious when Martin came to “support his Aunt during this rough time” and when he discovered that Martin had plans to write a story about this similar to the grandfather story, he confronted him and tossed him down a staircase.
            Jerry spent the next few months in prison, and served every day with a smile. Martin strayed far from the family after that. He would show up to the occasional Thanksgiving dinner but few rarely talked to him.


            “I’m glad you still fancy yourself a bad ass, but I’ve got something important to discuss with you,” Martin said. Jerry said nothing and folded his arms.
            “There are a couple reasons why I am here right now. One is that I don’t know who I can trust besides family, and as crazy as it sounds, I mean it since I’m talking to you of all people…and Two, I’m confident I’m being followed, so this was my best chance to talk to you without being spied on.”
            “I’m gonna count to three, and if you’re not gone by then…” Jerry said as he made for the closet where he kept a baseball bat.
            “Do you really think I’d come to you unless there was tons of money at stake?”
            “Fuck you and your money.”

            “I’m talking millions.”
            “And I’m telling you to leave.”
            “I can tell by this dump you don’t care much for money, but just imagine how it would benefit your mother once her cancer gets bad.”
            “Get OUT!” Jerry screamed as he pulled the bat out pointed the bat at the door.

            “Just relax.” Martin said as he pulled out a folded piece of paper. On it was scratchy writing, but Jerry could recognize a very big number with a lot of zeros at the end of it. “Its a reward for anyone who can prove what is happening right now isn’t just a rumor.” Jerry eyed Martin for a moment. “What rumor?” he asked.
            “Its unconfirmed, obviously,” Martin started “But word is that a nowhere little town about five hours north of here has gone completely off the map. Gone. Complete communications breakdown. Rumor says a bunch of nasty storms ran through and knocked out power, but I don’t buy it. If that happened you’d hear about a state of emergency or something. Nothing. Then word of something weird surfaced. It sounded so crazy that I dismissed it, but when multiple sources started talking about the same thing, I dug deeper.”
            “What are you talking about?” Jerry asked.
            “Zombies.” Martin said with a spark in his eye and a face of stone cold seriousness. The two men endured silence for a moment before Jerry spoke. “I’m expecting a punch line or something at this point,” he said while Martin retained a poker face.
            “So fine,” Jerry said “You need proof. Why does this involve me? Its not like you ever needed help before being a douche bag.” Martin sighed. “The second I started digging into the situation, the government was on top of me. I must have triggered a red flag or something,” Martin said while playing with the folded paper in his hand. “I wouldn’t be able to leave the city without being tailed so actually going to the town itself is out of the question. But you…You’re clean, as far as the government cares. I made sure of it.”
            “Not interested,” Jerry said as he gestured with his bat for Martin to leave. “A reward has been offered. Ten million dollars to anyone who can actually confirm the zombie town rumor. And that’s just the lowest offer I’ve come across,” Martin said as Jerry lowered the bat. “I also know you have a friend who used to go to college there. Don’t you think he’s concerned?”
            Jerry knew he’d be a fool not to go for the money. Hell, the money is what drove Martin to his doorstep. “Tell me one thing, and be honest,” Jerry said “Is it all about the money? Or do you at least care a little bit about the actual people in that town?” Martin didn’t answer, which spoke volumes to Jerry about how little Martin cared about the human face of this zombie threat, not that Jerry was entirely ready to believe the zombie part.
            "And what if it turns out to be nothing?" he asked as Martin smiled. "If you end up wasting your time, I'll pay all expenses myself," he said, never losing the smile "I'll even give you a portion of your cut in advance." Martin was serious, he never talked lightly about spending his own money so recklessly.

            “Fine,” Jerry said to Martin’s joy “But I’ll only do it if Ted wants in. Now get out.”


            Car horns blared as Jack swerved through traffic, determined to make it into the turn lane so he could enter the gas station last minute. “You drive like a fucking idiot,” Ted said as Jack stopped the engine.
            “You just wish you could pull that kind of shit off,” Jack responded as he exited the car.
            “I wouldn’t need to since I don’t fuck around with my cell phone while driving.”
            “Maybe you can ignore texts, but I refuse. You have no right to bitch anyway since I still made the turn.”
            “Whatever. What was the damn emergency anyway?”
            “Fuckin’ Jerry. Wanted to know where we were and why you ain’t answering your phone.”
            “Phones home. You want a breakfast sandwich or something?”
            “Smokes,” Jack announced and started pumping gas.
            Ted went in for a breakfast sandwich and came out with two packs of cigarettes. He entered the truck again but Jack didn’t drive off. “We’re already late,” Ted said, but Jack didn’t make any attempt to drive. “What are you waiting for?” Ted demanded as he lit a cigarette. “Jerry lives couple blocks away,” Jack said “He said he’d meet us here.” Ted rolled down the window. “Must be important,” he said “If he's actually up before noon.”
            They waited a few more minutes before Jerry came running up to the truck. “Thanks,” he said as he climbed into the back. “We’re late for work as it is,” Jack said as he started the truck and drove off “This better be as important as you said it was.”
            “It is,” Jerry said “And you shouldn’t go to work today. In fact you’ll never need to go to work ever again.”
            “Whatever. Hope you brought bus fare,” Jack said, rather uninterestedly “Cuz I’m not dropping you off at home.”
            “Go fuck yourself,” Jerry said as he turned his attention to Ted “Hey Ted, when was the last time you heard from anyone in Cazenovia?”
            “Not really sure,” Ted said “Been a little too wrapped up lately to notice.”
            “I bet it's been a week since you heard from anyone.”
            “What's it to you?”
            “Because no one else had heard from that place since it inexplicably went off the grid last week.”
            “And you think…?”
            “My cousin Martin is willing to pay us to go check it out, and bring back evidence of what the cause of the blackout.”
            “Because Martins proved to be a reliable person in the past,” Ted said sarcastically.
            "Didn't you go to jail last time you two spoke?" Jack chimed in.

            “He paid me $2,000 cash," Jerry continued "He didn’t go himself because the government is apparently up his ass.”
            The three sat in silence a moment. They all knew about Martin, and they all knew he was as close to being Jewish as they come. If he paid that much money up front, there was a definite pay day on the horizon. And if he approached Jerry to do it, then it's really must’ve been something he couldn’t do on his own.
            “How much money is on the line, exactly?” Jack asked.
            “Millions,” Jerry said “I spent all night going over the figures with Martin. Fucker refused to leave unless we ironed out the logistics. There is a serious pay day pending if we can provide the proof.”
            “And what proof would we need?” Ted asked.
            “Uh…This is the tough part, so take me in all seriousness," Jerry said “The apparent cause of all that is…zombies.”
            “Seriously?” Jack asked. Ted stayed quiet.
            “It doesn’t matter,” Jerry said “I got the cash from him anyway. We might as well check it out and if it turns out to be zombies, we’ll have a massive opportunity. All we need to do is kill the zombie and bring the corpse back as proof. Martin wants the rights to break the story, and we’ll go down as the first ever zombie hunters or some shit.”
            “I think you need to cut down on the weed.” Jack said.
            "I was going to invite you along," Jerry said "But with that attitude, maybe not."
            "Whatever, why don't we just take the money and run?"
            "This is my cousin we're talking about. He might make some bull shit story up about how I robbed him."
            "He might be doing that right now, just to fuck with you."

            “Might as well try,” Ted said “I feel like visiting some friends anyway.
            “You ain’t getting any of this money unless you help, Jack,” Jerry said.
            “Fine. But only for the money,” Jack said.
            “Excellent. Now turn off here, we need to pick up Marko.”

January 13, 2013

BGI v3 [Part 0]

Once upon a time I went on winter break in high school and found myself very bored very fast. So I decided to write a book.
...Now we are here and you are about to read the newest version of the story that started everything. And it was the original appearance of The Default Will Rule.

...fun fact: there's a school that approved of armed janitors...which is funny cuz the original version of this story (and another story I wrote in high school) involved a [disgruntled] janitor with a gun.



[BGI v3 - Part 0]

            "That's not ominous," Ted said sarcastically as he looked at the dark clouds approaching. "Shh!" Aaron scolded him as he continued to smoke his recently lit cigarette. The two seniors stood outside the high school in a tucked away corner near the back entrances. They weren't suppose to be out with another half-hour to go in the school day, but Aaron didn't want to wait any longer for a smoke and Ted didn't feel like sleeping through his last study hall. So, in what was a regular routine so long as the weather was nice, they cut out early.
            Under normal circumstances, they would never get away with what they do, but the Grimes High School was different. The teaching staff was in constant flux and new teachers were introduced monthly. Some staff members were brought in that never seemed to actually do any teaching and no one could find them during the day. It was as if they were around for something other than running a high school. The lack of familiarity with students meant Ted and Aaron, among others, were allowed to slip through the cracks and disappear from certain classes.
            "I don't feel like getting caught because you wanted to voice your opinion on the fucking clouds," Aaron stated. Ted shrugged and continued to look out. Dark clouds were slowly rolling in. It didn't look threatening, especially since there was no distant thunder, but something about how the wind was subtlety picking up struck Ted as interesting. Aaron took notice of the wind too, if only because it occasionally blew his own smoke back at him.
            "Thought you said Will was cutting out with us," Ted said to Aaron, taking care to lower his voice. Aaron shrugged. "Not my fucking problem." He was about to say something else when a small tremor sounded and the ground shook momentarily. "What the fuck was that?" Aaron asked. "Beats me," Ted said as he took notice of a distant thunder that at first he thought was coming from the approaching clouds, but was really from within the school.
            Whatever the sound was, it was quickly joined by a multitude of other unexplainable noises, some of which sounded like animals, though neither Ted nor Aaron could wager a guess as to what animals they could be, or if any such creatures were even suppose to exist, or where the sounds were even coming from. There were two discernible growls; one high pitched and one low. It seemed as if they were all originating from under their location.
            "What's under us?" Ted asked in a whisper. "I don't...nothing," Aaron said as he thought back to the basement layout he knew about from the various Saturday detentions he spent cleaning things out. "There's nothing suppose to be under this spot." The two knelt down and strained to listen more but all noise was drowned out when the school buses drove in to line up for the end of the school day, the roar of the multiple engines made it impossible to hear anything else.
            "Wanna figure this shit out?" Ted asked as Aaron tossed his cigarette. "Fuck that," he said as he watched as more buses drove in. "Well we have three options for the next half-hour," Ted said "We could stand out here like idiots, trying to hear anything over the symphony of buses...We could investigate the mini earthquake we just endured like men...or we could run to the buses like girls and suck our thumbs. Aaron made a face and shook his head, but reluctantly agreed. "Yeah, let's figure this out," he said "Odds are it's nothing."
            The two made for the doors when they stopped dead in their tracks at the sound of dozens of screams. "Maybe it's not nothing," Ted said as the initial screams were joined by dozens more. "Maybe we should, I dunno, be girls and run to the buses," Aaron said as Will came sprinting out the back entrance. "Oh shit! Oh shit!" he screamed as he grabbed Ted's shoulders.
            "What the f-" Ted started before a rush of students came crashing out behind Will, the faint animal like growls now amplified so they could be heard over the bus engines. The sudden stampede knocked Aaron away as Ted dragged Will aside. Aaron made a feeble attempt to get over to Ted and Will, but as a second group of frightened students came running out with the even louder and now multiple inhuman cries trailing, he decided to head for one of the buses.
            "What is wrong? What is it?" Ted yelled at Will who was trying to push Ted away so he could run. "Will!" Ted screamed as he slapped the underclassman, "Talk to me!" Will turned his head back to the entrance and his eyes went wide. Ted looked over to see someone rushing up to the glass doors from the inside, but they weren't running rather than gliding, their feet never touching the ground.
            The person hit the doors and blew them open, taking to the air when they came out. It was one of the teachers that had "left" maybe a month prior, but it only bore slight resemblance now. Out of the back, it had two large leathery wings that kept it airborne, their neck had been stretched three feet longer and from the middle of the chest down to the stomach was replaced by a deformed face that was still chewing on something Ted couldn't figure as it spit out the occasional bone fragment. A third arm was weakly sticking out of its right hip, holding onto a broken metal rod.
            The creature stretched its neck all three feet up and it scanned the fleeing crowd before it looked down on Ted and Will with its black eyes. It opened its mouth and let out a scream, Ted realizing that the noises he heard before wasn't coming from two different creatures but from one singular monster. Will and Ted took off as the beast flew down for a kill. Ted glanced back quick and dove to the side, separating himself from Will as the winged monster crashed down on top of the poor kid and started ripping into him with its elongated claws.
            Ted got to his feet and made for one of the buses, climbing onto the first one he could get to. Aaron was gone and there was no way Ted could track anyone down in the chaos. He made his way to the back as the sound of breaking windows and falling glass was heard. Ted and the eight other students on the bus looked over to see dozens more winged creatures, smaller but just as deadly, fly out and attack.
            "Get us out of here!"someone screamed and the driver finally put the bus into drive, just as the bus in front was knocked over and a few creatures flocked in through an open window. "Hang on!" the driver shouted as he maneuvered around the fallen bus and made for the exit. Ted looked back at Will's body to find the large winged creature was gone. He didn't need to waste much time looking for it since it flew over and intercepted the bus.
            The driver floored the accelerator with the intent to road kill the creature but as the bus made contact, it grabbed on and attempted to lift the bus into the air. "Hold on, I'm gonna try-" the driver started but was cut off when the creature, using its third arm for leverage, used its other right arm to chuck the metal rod through the windshield and right into the drivers chest.
            The bus lost all speed and the creature stopped it before going under to try lifting it again, this time to success. "Out the back!" Ted yelled as he turned but stopped at the sight of three of the smaller creatures banging on the back door, trying to get in. He tried making his way to one of the exits in the middle of the bus as it began its vertical lift. The run quickly became a climb and Ted had to take refuge using one of the seats as the bus was soon lifted straight up in the air.
            Students screamed as they fell down and crashed into the rear of the bus. The creature shook the bus violently and Ted held on while others were rattled off their seats and fell. One girl bounced off of Ted's seat and managed to grab hold of the one across the aisle. Ted reached over and grabbed her before she slipped and fell like all the others. After helping her up, he looked up to see the creature let loose one last scream before letting the bus go.
            The bus didn't fall far as it came down perfectly on its rear, jostling the pile of students that were otherwise motionless. Ted and the girl were almost thrown off their seat, but were able to recover. Looking back up, Ted didn't see the creature anymore, but noticed his view of the sky was moving; the bus was tipping over. The two clutched the seat as the bus came crashing down on its side.
            The landing threw the students to the other side of the bus. Ted quickly attempted to sit up, but found everything too heavy as he dropped back to the ground. The dwindling number of screams outside slowly became distant to Ted as his last thought was a wish that this was all only a bad dream.

January 2, 2013


[...Posted by Ted H]

Well well well well well....2013. What could I possibly hope to accomplish this year?

I've decided that no one singular project can hold my attention for long, so instead I will embark on the hopeless quest of tackling multiple major projects to amuse myself this year.
Don't call these resolutions, because if you call me out on this in December, I'll throw this very disclaimer right back at you: I make no actual promise to do shit.

Such projects include:

-BGI (v3)
My original major project. I wrote the original in high school and it set me off on the path I find myself on today. Everything I've accomplished since (except the Fat Lady poem) was made possible because of the "success" of BGI.
Rereading the original makes me cringe and wonder why all the people who read it didn't just smack me in the head for the atrocious grammar (so bad that the Geneva Convention has made reproduction of that story illegal). I rewrote the story and fixed a multitude of the errors (grammar and continuity) a year later and even now as I reread version 2, I cringe.
Version 3, which to my amazement has been demanded by multiple people (more than 1) will be attempted this year.
The first version was about me and my friends in the very high school we attended, if it became the plot of a Resident Evil game, all to fulfill my own hubris. Version 2 made no deviation to that set up. I originally wanted to make version 3 a little less stupid, but I feel the need to keep nostalgia in place and keep it about a handful of teenagers fighting off zombies and more in their high school (cuz that concept is sooooooo original).
BGI is an abbreviation. Few will get it and that's kinda the point.
I will put BGIv3 in its entirety on this site.
...and yes, the main character is still named 'Ted' because fuck you, I'm awesome!

-Million Dollar Zombie
What BGI was to my high school, MDZ kinda became that to my college by accident. I needed a setting and in being devoid of originality for settings, I used the college.
...and the main character here is also named 'Ted' because (again) fuck you, I'm awesome!
It's less Resident Evil in this one and more Walking Dead (and seeing how I rarely expose myself to any version of the Walking Dead, show-game-comic, this should be interesting)
Probably won't put all of MDZ on this site.

-Safe Haven
More like make a meaningful advancement to that story. My month long stall killed all the momentum for that and I recently wrestled with the idea of changing the ending, which halted all writing cuz it would require a rewrite. I've decided to keep the ending, or at least not make it as radically different as I intended. SH will take a backseat to the above two, at least until I iron out a few details.
All updates will be here, ya know, if I get there.

-Adventures is New Vegas
I'm gonna play Fallout: New Vegas and write about it. I had enough fun doing the same with Oblivion last year, and if I need a break, NV will help me keep sharp.

-That One Night
Make an honest to God attempt at publishing this bitch. The major problem is that it's not quite long enough to fit some peoples loose definition of novel. Also there's the fact that it's almost impossible to explain to people who like plots to be simple.

-Write a poem
It's been a while.
I'd blame my muse...but that would be lazy...
...So I blame my muse.