Weed From A Can

[...Posted by Ted H]

Aw yeah. Dr Deuce is in the house...
Anyone know an illustrator?

...........................

[Weed From a Can]

I am Dan
Dan the Man

- That Dan the Man
- That Dan the Man
- I do not trust that Dan the Man

Do you smoke weed from a can?

- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

Will you smoke it with a beer?
Will you smoke it with a queer?

- I will not smoke it with a beer
- I will not smoke it with a queer
- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

Will you smoke it in a loft?
Will you smoke it someplace soft?

- I will not smoke it in a loft
- I will not smoke it someplace soft
- I will not smoke it with a beer
- I will not smoke it with a queer
- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

Will you smoke it in the dark?
Or someplace quiet like a park?

- I will not smoke it in the dark
- I will not smoke it in a park
- I will not smoke it in a loft
- I will not smoke it someplace soft
- I will not smoke it with a beer
- I will not smoke it with a queer
- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

Would you, could you, with a snack?
Would you, could you, in the back?

- I would not, could not, with a snack
- I would not, could not, in the back

Then how about up on the roof ?
To keep you from being so aloof?

- I would not, could not, with a snack
- Not on the roof, or in the back
- I will not smoke it in the dark
- I will not smoke it in a park
- I will not smoke it in a loft
- I will not smoke it someplace soft
- I will not smoke it with a beer
- I will not smoke it with a queer
- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

How about while in a jail?
Or when you come to post my bail?

- I will not smoke it in a jail
- And I would not, could not post your bail
- I would not, could not, with a snack
- Not on the roof, or in the back
- I will not smoke it in the dark
- I will not smoke it in a park
- I will not smoke it in a loft
- I will not smoke it someplace soft
- I will not smoke it with a beer
- I will not smoke it with a queer
- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

You should smoke it to blow off some steam?
It would defiantly leave you feeling quite keen.

- I do not want to blow off steam
- I do not need to feel quite keen
- I will not smoke it in a jail
- And I would not, could not post your bail
- I would not, could not, with a snack
- Not on the roof, or in the back
- I will not smoke it in the dark
- I will not smoke it in a park
- I will not smoke it in a loft
- I will not smoke it someplace soft
- I will not smoke it with a beer
- I will not smoke it with a queer
- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

Then how about hot-boxing in a car?
Or smoking it secretly in a bar?

- I will not smoke it in a car
- I will not smoke it in a bar
- I do not want to blow off steam
- I do not need to feel quite keen
- I will not smoke it in a jail
- And I would not, could not post your bail
- I would not, could not, with a snack
- Not on the roof, or in the back
- I will not smoke it in the dark
- I will not smoke it in a park
- I will not smoke it in a loft
- I will not smoke it someplace soft
- I will not smoke it with a beer
- I will not smoke it with a queer
- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

Could you smoke it in a shop?
Or be daring while near a cop?

- I will not smoke it in a shop
- I dare not smoke it near a cop
- I will not smoke it in a car
- I will not smoke it in a bar
- I do not want to blow off steam
- I do not need to feel quite keen
- I will not smoke it in a jail
- And I would not, could not post your bail
- I would not, could not, with a snack
- Not on the roof, or in the back
- I will not smoke it in the dark
- I will not smoke it in a park
- I will not smoke it in a loft
- I will not smoke it someplace soft
- I will not smoke it with a beer
- I will not smoke it with a queer
- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

You can smoke it on the run!
Try it, try it! It’s quite fun!

- I will not smoke it on the run
- I do not think it would be quite fun
- I will not smoke it in a shop
- I dare not smoke it near a cop
- I will not smoke it in a car
- I will not smoke it in a bar
- I do not want to blow off steam
- I do not need to feel quite keen
- I will not smoke it in a jail
- And I would not, could not post your bail
- I would not, could not, with a snack
- Not on the roof, or in the back
- I will not smoke it in the dark
- I will not smoke it in a park
- I will not smoke it in a loft
- I will not smoke it someplace soft
- I will not smoke it with a beer
- I will not smoke it with a queer
- I do not smoke weed from a can
- I will not smoke it, Dan the Man

Will you smoke it once just to see?
You will like it believe you me!

- If it will make you go away
- Then I will only smoke it for today

………..

- …………….

……….

- I can not believe my blood shot eyes
- Everything I said before have been lies
- I do like smoking weed from a can
- An enjoyable endeavor indeed, Dan the Man
- I could smoke it on the run
- It would seem to be quite fun
- I want to smoke it in a shop
- Or perhaps be daring near a cop
- I want to hot-box in a car
- I want to smoke it in a bar
- I definitely need to blow off steam
- Smoking this would leave me keen
- I want to smoke it while in jail
- And would not hesitate to post your bail
- I can smoke it with a snack
- On the roof or in the back
- I could smoke it in the dark
- Or somewhere quiet like a park
- I could smoke it in a loft
- Or smoke it someplace soft
- I want to smoke it with a beer
- I want to smoke it with a queer
- I do like smoking weed from a can
- Thank you, thank you, Dan the Man.

The End!

Don't

[...Posted by Ted H]

I'll just say right now: They cant all be winners.
Anyway, crazy busy week so you get some backlogged oldie Ive had stashed for just such an occasion. I had planned to either write up some uber-intelligent analysis of Romero or a uber-retarded rant over circumstances surrounding suicide, but Ive had literally 0 free time between 2 jobs this week. Whatever. No biggie. Maybe next week.
Im sure to have loads of free time next week...HA!

.................................

[Don't]

Don't

Don't panic.
Don't blink.
Don't worry.
Don't flop.
I'm a savior.
I'm a doctor.
I'm a hero.
I'm a cop.

Just breathe.
Just wait.
Just think.
Just stop.
It'll happen.
It'll heal.
It'll pass.
It'll drop.

Just panic.
Just blink.
Just worry.
Just flop.
It'll happen.
It'll heal.
It'll pass.
It'll drop.

Don't breathe.
Don't think.
Don't wait.
Don't stop.
I'm a savior.
I'm a doctor.
I'm a hero.
I'm a...

Red Dot Martyrs

[...Posted by Ted H]

Knew a guy in college in a band of the same name. I was also a DJ at the time and played a lot of his music. Good shit. Just putting that out there.

...............................

[Red Dot Martyrs]

Small pools of red
In five distinct spots
At the end of the bottle
From here they are dots
They have just one purpose
They have but one chance
To pull us away
From this sleep like trance
Many came before
Have fallen in vain
For still I remain here
Continue to drain
But the dots do not waiver
Refuse to take leave
Forgetting past failures
Remaining naïve
When their moment comes
They’ll rise up and fight
To keep us all going
Well into the night
And succeed or fail
What they were to me
Martyrs for my sake
So I may be free.

Safe Haven - The Chase

[...Posted by Ted H]

Oh shit, thought I forgot about this storyline? Guess again!

..............................

[Safe Haven - The Chase]

“One down,” Jake breathed as he grabbed Cayra and pulled her into the alley just as the other ResE opened fire on him. Those other two from before probably were on their way now as well. Jake could probably handle the one guy alone, but three would be a problem. “Here,” he said as he pulled out one of his pistols and handed it to Cayra, taking care not to actually look at her. She didn’t know it was him and he didn’t need any unnecessary drama now.

“Get out of here,” he said then took off out into the open. Cayra would have to make it to safety on her own, but Jake could at least draw the attention of the ResEs. “Over here, faggot!” he screamed as he disappeared into a building, gunfire trailing him as he ran.

................

Jezus had heard the shot and didn’t think anything of it. Apparently the girl had tried something and she paid for it. A damn shame, too. But when the lone gunshot was followed by semi-auto fire, Juan and Jezus exchanged the same concerned look. Something was seriously wrong. They turned and double-timed it back to the previous street. Sure enough, Slain was firing his rifle into an alley while Double-Ds body laid nearby. The girl was nowhere to be seen

Just before Jezus could get a word out, someone darted out of the alley. At first he thought it was the girl, but when it was a male voice screaming a taunt and dressed completely different, a more logical answer came to mind. “Fucking Rogue!” Jezus screamed. The Rogue went into a nearby building. Slain kept firing as he followed him in, but Jezus had a better idea. There were two possible exits from that building besides the front. “Bell, cover the east side exit, I’ll take the back!”

“This isn’t happening,” he breathed as he ran around the west side hoping to cut the Rogue off. Double-D was down but Jezus never checked to see if he was alive. There definitely was blood though and odds were it was fatal. Will was a prick but not one anyone couldn’t take. He was like a little brother…a horny, loose cannon, never-shuts-the-fuck-up-sometimes little brother, but pretty much like family along with all the ResEs in this area.

“This is Slain,” Jezus’ radio chirped, “We have a confirmed Rogue running around. Double-D is down and I am in pursuit. Requesting backup.” It seemed Kendall had finally cared enough to call this in, meaning he wasn’t so sure he could catch this guy on his own. “Roger that,” Janky responded “Sending additional men to your sector.” Killing a Rogue is a high profile accomplishment and you usually don’t call in for backup because you don’t need anyone else stealing your kill.

“Negative!” Kendall said “Target is in sector 9, near the corner of Herd and Bayberry.”

But Kendall did call for help, meaning that the Rogue might get away from him, and nobody wants that. That bastard killed Will, Jezus had no intention on letting him escape. He would have to find the guy first. He slowed up as he approached the back door. Nestled in a cramped alley with not adequate cover, anyone stepping through that door would have nowhere to hide.

“He’s on the roof!” Kendall screamed on the radio. “What?” Jezus said to himself as he glanced upwards just in time to see a figure jump over the alley from one roof to the next. “This guy thinks he’s the fucking Batman?” Jezus yelled as he sprinted out of the alley and attempted to follow. “Keep eyes on him, Slain!” he yelled into his own radio.

“He jumped another roof!” Kendall said as Jezus ran along the buildings, trying to keep track which one the Rogue would be on. There were four more buildings on this block the same height, after that the Rogue would either have to jump off or go down the fucking stairs. “I’ll try to intercept in the last building,” Jezus said as he kept sprinting.

“There’s a fire escape!” Kendall screamed “Third to last building!” Jezus skid to a stop. “There are no fire escapes on this side.” he said “Which fucking side?”

“South,” Kendall said.

“I’m on the north end, fuck!”

“Where’s that backup, Janky?”

“They can only run so fast, Slain,” Janky said sarcastically.

Ignoring the radio chatter, Jezus cut between two buildings just in time to catch Kendall coming down from the fire escape. “Which way?” Jezus asked. Kendall kicked the dirt and spoke into his radio “Rogue is headed south along Jones street. I’ve lost visual.” Both men jogged after him anyway. “We’ve got, what, three? Three fucking fire escapes in this city that haven’t fallen apart yet and he just happens to run into it?” Jezus asked, causing Kendall to immediately stop.

“What’s wrong?” Jezus asked. “Trap…” Kendall said softly before shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter,” he said “Where the hell is your partner anyway?” That was a good question. “Bell, where the fuck are you?” Jezus said into his radio but received no response.

“This makes no sense,” Jezus said “Where the fuck could he be?” Kendall started running again. “Doesn’t matter,” he said “We need to catch this guy.”

Hateful Self-Loathing

[...Posted by Ted H]

a.k.a.: fun with a thesaurus

Just a short stand alone rant. Imagine if you will a psychotic nutjob screaming at himself in the mirror. I like to think that I could use this in something down the line, where some insane antagonist explains himself, exposing his apparent lunacy while he does something equally insane with his hands. Kinda like if the Joker took a bunch of barbituates and nailgunned his hand to a desk.
Or a split personality person....so make it Two-Face nailing his hand to a desk instead...the only question being: Which hand would he nail?

16 weeks and counting where I manage to keep this update schedule...go figure.

I got a few ideas over what to do next, but Ive been working non stop and had few opprotunities to actually write anything down. Maybe Ill get something out next week.
................

Why?
The reason is rather simple, really. You want to know why I’ve done everything that I’ve done up to this point? Why I’ve made a series of inexplicable, irrational and downright questionable decisions that have affected my life in a detrimental and negative fashion? It’s really simple if you look at it from my perspective, because while you can’t find a rational and intelligent reason for my actions, all I see is a clear and direct line of reasoning: I fucking hate myself.

I do. I despise me. I detest me. I hate what I’ve been, I hate what I’m becoming, and most of all, I hate what I am. If I were to ever meet myself in the street I would beat him within an inch of his life, then try and take it two inches further. I would hurt that man and gladly accept whatever punishment was handed. I hate myself with such a passion that I can barely form it into words without having to strangle something.

I try to punish this man, cause him pain and ruin his life, but it just doesn’t work. He still breathes, he still carries on, and he still has conscious thought. I’ve driven him to the brink of insanity and pushed with all my might, but he still remains. Taunting, vile, inexcusable. The mere thought of myself breeds hateful thoughts and bile forces itself out of my mouth. I hate this man, but there’s nothing I can do.

There is no superego. There is no redemption, nor is there any desire for it. I am merely and id and an ego. The id is a dark, disturbed being. It is sloth and avarice personified. The ego is miserable, because there is no compromise to be made. It is only resentment. Only hatred. Only rage.

I’ve long ago given up on redemption. My reason for being is to punish this man, myself. I will torture him, deny him pleasure and stress him until he breaks. And when he does, I will hate myself even more, because there is no other option. This linear spiral, the endless waltz of suffering has but one ending. The only thing that varies is how fast my decent into madness will be.

I am not blind to you. I never ignore a word and I am anything but ignorant to your passes. I love you, dammit. But to be with you would to give him happiness. And I only exist to deny him pleasure because his existence causes me so much suffering. And to subject you to my suffering would only amplify it even more. But to see you move on and ignore me causes the same agony, because it reminds me why we are not one, and I resent what I am all the more for it.

I can not kill him, because there would be no closure in death, just an abrupt end in which only I suffer. There would be no peace in death. I must, I will, drive him into insanity, and when I do, I will hate myself even more. Because when I see this pathetic being in the mirror, I realize that it is me. And for all the mental anguish I have suffered, it has been self inflicted. And I hate myself all the more for it.

I hate what I was.

I hate what I’m becoming.

And most of all, I hate what I am.