March 11, 2012

Safe Haven - Perspective pt.2

[...Posted by Ted H]

Mass Effect time to write, saving the earth...


[Safe Haven - Perspective pt.2]

“I like this plan,” Nick said as he and Kyle walked up to the whore house. “Find that fucking shirt,” Kyle said as he walked away. “Where are you going?” Nick asked as Kyle kept walking. “I’m gonna have a little chat with the naked guy from yesterday. I got a feeling he might be our man. I had ResEs tracking him since last night.”

“So I’m going in the whore house alone?”

“Yeah. That a problem?”

“I don’t like this plan anymore. I LOVE it.”

“Just do your fucking job, then fuck bitches.”

Nick charged in like he was storming a palace and screamed at the top of his lungs “I need some fucking attention! Hey ladies!” He could hear tired and annoyed talking from behind closed doors but nobody was coming out to greet him, which would just not do. “What kind of customer service is this?” he screamed, but still received no greeting.

“How bout this then,” Nick yelled “Residential Enforcer! Get the fuck out here!” He was so pumped up as he screamed, he let off a few rounds into the ceiling, something Kyle would bitch at him over if he were with him. Nick got some prompt service after that as four different women rushed out of their rooms to meet him. “Where your pimp at?” he asked as he walked over and threw an arm around one of the women.

“What’s going on?” a man asked, coming through a door behind Nick. “That must be Perry the Pimp!” Nick screamed as he spun around, dragging the woman around with him. “Why are you back?” Perry asked as he looked up to the ceiling “And why did you shoot the ceiling?” Nick couldn’t hide a smile as Perry motioned his girls to leave the room. Nick kept his arm around the one girl though, not allowing her to leave.

“You guys got a lost and found?” Nick asked “A friend of mine lost his clothes.” Perry gave off a quick worried look before turning around and walking towards the door he came in through. “We keep all found items in my office,” he said as he stood by the door and waited. Nick strolled his way on over, still not letting go of the woman, who was too afraid to try to get away.

Perry’s office wasn’t very big, but Nick didn’t care. He just needed to find the right shirt, maybe the pants, then he could fuck the day away until curfew. They weren’t officially on duty, but The General always encouraged the ResEs to go above and beyond their duties for the sake of doing their jobs, something Nick never bothered with before, but he was willing to make an exception for the whore house.

“Is that everything?” Nick asked as he noticed a distinctive lack of anything red in the pile of clothing in the corner of the office. “The girls don’t typically hold on to someone else’s clothing,” Perry said as Nick kicked the pile over and shifted things around with his foot. “This sucks,” he announced as he gave up on the pile. “Hey Rotting Cure, there’s no fucking shirt,” he said into his radio.

“What’s that Mean?” Kyle said. “I said I checked and found no fucking red shirt. But I’ll keep looking. Why don‘t you tell him I found a red shirt though, see if it scares him.” Kyle had stressed earlier that Nick had to keep searching if he didn’t find the shirt right away. Nick didn’t like the idea of it, but he had to put in the extra effort. “What would Batman do?” he asked himself, then got an idea.

“Hey, show me tiny cock’s cloths,” he said to Perry, remembering that the naked guy didn’t leave last night with his clothes. Kyle was with him at that moment, so it was up to Nick to not fuck up his end of this investigation. Perry shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You’re the pimp though, don’t you know every man who sleeps with your girls?”

“You’re asking me what happened just before your associate hit me. My memory has been a bit funny around that time.”

“Remember any red shirts?”

“I’m telling you, there were no red shirted individuals.”

“I thought you said your memory was fuzzy?”

“I would remember a red shirt. You’re also asking me about what a specific person wore.”

“Same difference.”

“No, it’s not.”

“I don’t like your selective memory.”

“And I don’t like you scaring my women.”

Nick was getting pissed, but as much as he wanted to shoot Perry the Pimp, he had a job to do. Business first, fucking later, then kill the pimp if there was time. “The bitch he was with, where is she?” he asked as Perry motioned back outside his office. “The room where you found her yesterday.” Nick nodded as he reluctantly let go of the woman he was still holding. “End of the hall,” he said as he ascended the steps and walked down the hallway.

“Anybody home?” He said as he kicked down the door, the startled woman inside jumping out of her bed “How about a good morning fuck?” The woman held up a blanket to conceal herself as Nick walked in. “What do you want?” she asked as Nick looked about. “You remember homeboy from yesterday, right? Tiny dick? Romantic night ruined when we arrived? I need his clothes.”

“T-they’re not here,” she stammered as Nick continued looking around. “You sure?” he said “You didn’t happen to misplace anything, a shoe or perhaps a red shirt?” The woman shook her head. “I returned everything he came in with when he left,” she said. “For real?” Nick asked as he opened her dresser and riffled through her clothes, but found nothing remotely male oriented.

Nick was tired of investigating. It wasn’t his style and he felt like he gave more than enough effort already. “So about that morning fuck…” he said as he unbuckled his pants and focused on more deviant thoughts as opposed to shirts. There were no need for shirts with what he was about to do.

“Any luck, Mean?” Kyle said in the radio, killing Nick’s boner. “God fucking damn it,” Nick screamed in response. “You’re trying to have sex right now, aren’t you?” Kyle asked. “What if I am?” Nick responded.

“Are you even trying to help me?”

“Hey, I tried. Couldn’t find anything. Aside from some curtains, no one in this dump even knows what red is.”

“Where are you now?”

“I’m in a fucking church, praying to God. Where do you think I am?”

“I mean where in the whore house? I’ll be there in a few.”

“Naked man’s bitch’s room. About to get my freak on, so knock first, ok?”

“Look under the bed.”

“Why, you under there? You can watch if you want.”

“Just fucking do as I ask.”

“Fine,” Nick said as he winked to the woman, then dropped to the ground and peered under the bed. “Ain’t nothing under there,” he said “Wait, no. there’s a dead rat. Should I grab it for you, or can I go back to me time?”

“Any pants?”

“No,” Nick said as he stood up “What’s your angle?”

“Naked man lied to me…” Kyle trailed off and didn’t elaborate any more.

Nick shrugged and was about to drop his pants when he felt a pang of something he couldn’t quite place, but it felt kind of like guilt. “Yo, bitch,” he addressed the woman in the bed “Did the naked white boy yesterday leave his pants here?” Kyle was counting on him to do make an effort, and while Nick didn’t want to, he figured that if he did a decent enough job, Kyle would stop bitching long enough for Nick to at least bust one out.

“I asked you a question,” he said as the woman finally summoned the courage to speak “I told you…His clothes aren’t here.” Nick cocked his head sideways “I’m talking just about the pants. Where did he kick ‘em?” The woman looked like she didn’t know what to say “I don’t know what you’re talking about. He took them off somewhere else, I don’t know where.”

Nick relayed what he just heard to Kyle, who sounded grateful that Nick made the fucking effort. “Good,” Nick said “Now can you leave me alone, for like, half hour at least?” Nick didn’t wait for an answer as he finally dropped his pants and stepped out. “You may wanna lie down,” he said to the woman, “And spread the legs.”

He didn’t get five minutes in when Kyle was screaming for him again on the radio.

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