Happy THUMPING Halloween

[...Posted by Ted H]

Yup...Halloween. Heres a little somethin-somethin I threw together for just such an occasion. Posting it up a few days early since no one ever wants to read halloweeny things in November and odds are Halloween weekend/day people would be a bit busy...

plus now I can rest up and brainstorm for NaNoWriMo. Might get one or two other authors involved, so there might be *gasp* miltiple weekly updates next month? dont quote me though.

And yes, Ill admit in advance that this is such an overly complicated set-up for a Batman joke...

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[Thump Thump Thump Thump]

-THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!

Four heavy bangs jolted Nicole and Paul from their sleep. “What was that?” Nicole asked in a worried tone. “I have no idea,” Paul said as he fought off a yawn “Prolly the wind.” he said as he turned over to go back to sleep. “Are you serious? The wind?” Nicole asked “The wind doesn’t slam into our house like that.” Paul grunted before forcing himself top get up. “Well what do you want me to do about it?” he asked but before Nicole could answer-

-THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!

Paul seemed less dismissive the second time around, and searched in the dark for a bit to find some shoes. Down the hallway, their infant daughter Lizzie started crying. “Now I’m pissed,” Paul said before yawning again “Could you take care of Lizzie?” he asked as Nicole turned on a lamp and made for the door.

-THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!

“Seriously, what’s going on?” Nicole asked, visibly upset over the banging. Paul could tell it was coming from the front door. Whoever it was, Paul was ready to kick their ass if they did it again.

-THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!

Paul jogged down the hallway and ran down the stairs. He had no weapon handy so he settled for the lone umbrella in the stand next to the front door. He peered through the peep hole but saw nothing, not that he ever could before. The light in the front porch went out about a month ago and Paul could never get it to work. Paul tried looking out the side window but couldn’t see anything either.

Upstairs he could hear Nicole trying to calm Lizzie down to no avail. He couldn’t exactly blame the kid, his own heart was still trying to calm down. He could hear Nicole talking up there but it didn’t seem she was talking to the baby. He was about to call up to her when-

-THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!

“Gotcha!” he called out when he unlocked the door and threw it open, umbrella in hand. There was no one out there though. He stepped out quickly and peered into the nearby bushes but saw no sign that anyone was around. “What the hell?” he asked himself as he slowly backed up into the house and closed the door.

“Please calm down,” he could hear Nicole saying upstairs to the baby, who finally seemed to be quiet. Other than that, there was no other noise. Slowly, Paul placed the umbrella back where it belonged and went up the stairs. “What’s going on?” Nicole asked as she peered out of Lizzie’s room. All Paul could do was shrug when-

-THUMP THUMP THUMP TH-

The thumping had started again only this time it had been disturbed by the door flying open and slamming into the wall. “Holy shit!” Paul screamed as he flew down the stairs.

“Trick or treat!” three small children shouted as they held out pillowcases in front of them. “That wasn’t funny,” Paul said as the kids giggled behind their plastic masks. One was dressed as Batman, another as a princess and the last as a vampire. “A bit late, huh guys?” Paul asked as he headed for the kitchen to go get some candy.

“Wait a minute,” he said as he opened the pantry “Halloween isn’t until tomorrow.” Just as the thought crossed Paul’s mind, he heard Nicole start to scream before getting cut off. Paul sprinted back towards the front door just in time to see the vampire and princess run out the front door. The vampire’s pillowcase was filled to capacity as he dragged it behind him, leaving a thick trail of blood. The princess meanwhile was trying to fit Nicole’s severed head into her own pillowcase.

Paul was frozen and speechless as he attempted to process the scene that just transpired. He was torn between running after them or calling the cops when he realized something. “The God-damn Batman is still in the house,” he said shortly before something slammed into the back of his head and everything went black.