October 2, 2011

Our Town of the Dead [Act I]

[...Posted by Ted H]

Heres Act I...said what I needed to yeaterday. Now if you excuse me, theres playoff baseball to be watching...

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[Our Town of the Dead]

Act I

No curtain
No scenery
The STAGE MANAGER walks on stage and begins placing …stuff off to the side


STAGE MANAGER:
This play is called “Our Town of the Dead”, originally titled “Our Town on Fire” but was changed because we needed a less misleading title. This is a sequel nobody asked for, meant to follow a play written by Thornton Wilder. It was written, produced, directed and whatever by Ted H. In it you will see a bunch of actors who couldn’t get hired anywhere else and are only here because they’re desperate for a paycheck. The name of the town is Grover’s Corners, New Hampshire-just across the blah blah blah, no one really cares about where this place is, do they? I assume you can just google map it or something if you’re really interested. It’s dawn by the way, start of a very special day.

A rooster begins to crow, just before getting cut off in slaughter.

STAGE MANAGER:
It’s defiantly been quite a few years since that summer in 1913. I could give you another time consuming tour, but what use is it? Nothing’s the same, and pretty soon everything will change again. For instance, more cars now. Only horse left in regular use is Old Bessy. We call her Old Bessy now, by the way, on account of her not being too far from the one way trip to the glue factory. And if you remember that old dog that used to go to sleep on Main Street, well you’d be happy to hear that it’s still asleep…cause it got hit by a car. One day Cartwright comes rolling by in his fancy new car and BAM, no more dog. Didn’t seem too beat up about it either, that Cartwright, just pumped his fist up and screamed “First road kill, mother fuckers!”

HOWIE NEWSOME screams something inaudible to his horse off stage

Well I should get along to wrapping this monologue up. You might be wondering what the purpose of the story is this time around. “Didn’t they say what they needed to say the first time?” you might be asking. Well the truth is that tonight will be a very special night in Grover’s Corners. Its most infamous citizen is set to return and the town itself is set to go out under the most peculiar of circumstances.

JOE CROWELL and HOWIE NEWSOME (dragging an imaginary horse) enter from opposite sides

HOWIE:
Mornin’

JOE:
Hello, Howie. Bit cold this morning, don’t ya think?

HOWIE:
I’ll say. A bit out of season too. Bessys all mixed up over it. What are you doing up this early anyway?

JOE:
Well ya know, nothing to do around here since I graduated. Usually kill time in the mornings and sometimes help my brother out with the papers. You haven’t seen him though, have you?

HOWIE:
Can’t say that I have.

JOE:
Just isn’t like him to take this long.

HOWIE:
What could you possible do to kill time this early?

JOE:
Well there’s lots to do so long as there arent any people to distract you. I wander all over the place…well, except for the cemetery. I ain’t going anywhere near the cemetery on account of how Willard and his new friend have been creeping me out lately all up in that lab they have just outside the cemetery.

HOWIE:
Well if you aren’t doing anything productive, I passed the new constable earlier and he was looking for a drunk that’s been producing noise complaints.

JOE:
Like Mr Stimson?

HOWIE:
Ah yes. That takes me back. Haven’t had an entertaining drunk around here since Stimson hung himself. That man knew how to put ‘em back.

JOE:
Yup. Shame that his wife nagged him once too often though.

HOWIE:
I remember New Years 1907, damn fool drank every drop of alcohol. Danced on top of the counter at the soda shop afterwards. Then stumbled out the door without a word in search of a fuck, Rebecca Gibbs or his wife, or whoever he found first.

JOE:
I remember talking Baseball with the man, the few times he sobered up. Man loved Boston and couldn’t see how I cheered for the Cubs.

HOWIE:
A Cubs fan, eh?

JOE:
You bet. Won back-to-back titles, too. Simon said that wouldn’t happen again. “A cold day in hell when the Cubs win another championship” he said to be exact. He actually believed those Highlanders in New York have a better chance to win before the Cubs. I told him he was crazy, but he didn’t seem to care.

HOWIE:
Man, call me crazy, but all this talk about Simon, and I think that’s him right now walking down the street.

JOE:
You are crazy, Howie, but that man does bare a resemblance.

SIMON STIMSON shuffles his way slowly on stage, head down and approaching JOE CROWELL and HOWIE NEWSOME

HOWIE:
A…a little uncanny don’t you think? I swear that could be Simon. Even looks like the same clothes he was buried in.

JOE:
Nonsense. Simon Stimson has been dead for years.

JOE CROWELL approaches SIMON STIMSON

JOE:
Hey you! The constables been getting some complaints about you. You better stumble on home before you get into trouble.

HOWIE:
Man, he sure smells funny.

SIMON STIMSON raises his head, revealing his identity, also indicating the years of decomposition.

HOWIE:
Holy fucking shit! It IS Simon!

JOE:
I-I-I-I-I-I

SIMON:
Help…me…

JOE:
Did he..did he just talk?

HOWIE:
I think he needs help.

JOE:
Howie, the dead don’t need help.

HOWIE NEWSOME walks up to SIMON STIMSON

HOWIE:
Simon? It’s me, Howie Newsome. How can he help?

HOWIE NEWSOME turns to face JOE CROWELL

HOWIE:
Go fetch Doc Gibbs, Joe!

JOE:
Howie, I don’t think that’s-

SIMON:
I’m so hungry.

SIMON STIMSON lunges at HOWIE NEWSOME and bites into his neck

HOWIE:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Get it off!

HOWIE NEWSOME falls to the ground as SIMON STIMSON kneels down and take another bite

JOE:
I-I-I can’t. Howie, I…

JOE CROWELL runs off stage and into the crowd, arms up and screaming. SIMON STIMSON continues eating

HOWIE:
Run away, Bessy! Git out of here! Save yourself.

SIMON:
Now why would I even bother eating a horse? Maybe some of my friends would like your horse, but I have a perfectly fine meal right here.

HOWIE:
Friends?

SIMON:
Nothing you need to worry about anymore.

The STAGE MANAGER takes position in the middle of the stage, ignoring SIMON STIMSON as he drags HOWIE NEWSOME away.

STAGE MANAGER:
I believe it would be best if I filled you folks in better on a few things. Big changes happened in Grover’s Corners since we last met. After the death of his wife, George slowly lost his grip and walked away from his life. Left all his kids and ran off to Kentucky with the Goruslawski twins. A few years passed and a new faced entered Grover’s Corners, a man by the name of Birkin. He was a scientist of sorts, never elaborated to anyone beyond that. Birkin and Professor Willard hit it off easily and became friends. Set up a laboratory outside of Grover’s Corners, not too far from the cemetery. The two would come and go from the town every so often, but for the passed few months those visits became less and less until they stopped entering town all together. You notice something like that, especially when everyone else in town manages to hit up the grocery or drug store every day. Word slowly spread that Birkin was conducting experiments up in that lab and Willard was assisting him, though no one could venture a guess as to why they were set up so far from town and so close to the cemetery. Word also spread that something apparently went wrong but no one could bring themselves to approach the lab to investigate.

A trusting bunch we have here in Grover’s Corners. No one ever has a secret they wouldn’t share, and everyone’s too polite to go prying in where they don’t belong. Perhaps if they thought different, things wouldn’t be the way they are now. Oh well, no use trying to change what’s already in motion.

STAGE MANAGER glances off stage and smiles

STAGE MANAGER:
And if it isn’t the son of the devil himself, George Gibbs!

GEORGE GIBBS enters

GEORGE:
Not a drop of gas left in the tank and this town has the one gas station. What a fucking deal, doesn’t anyone else in town have a car? I might as well hitchhike back to Massachusetts.

SI CROWELL crawls into view, trailing blood as he moves

GEORGE:
Holy fucknuts! Si? What happened?

SI:
I was….delivering…but…it attacked…ripped out my…took my…

GEORGE:
Damn, stay with me. Who did this? What did they take?

SI:
My…my appendix.

GEORGE:
W-what? Si? Si! Si, say something! Don’t die on me!

WALLY WEBB walks into view, eating an appendix like an apple

WALLY:
Well if it isn’t the prodigal son, George Gibbs.

GEORGE:
Wally? No. Wally’s dead! What’s going on here? Who are you?

WALLY:
I’m your brother-in-law, and I’m very hungry.

GEORGE:
You killed Si, didn’t you?

WALLY:
I didn’t want to, I just wanted an appendix.

GEORGE:
Wally…why would you-

WALLY:
It wasn’t fair! I took it so I could replace mine! It’s only fair…

WALLY WEBB looks away as he finishes eating SI CROWELL’S appendix. He then turns back to see GEORGE GIBBS

WALLY:
I’m still hungry.

GEORGE:
What? Wally, wait…

WALLY:
I’ll kill you quick, George! Don’t worry.

GEORGE GIBBS takes off running in the direction he came from, WALLY WEBB gives chase.

MRS GIBBS: (off stage)
Oh that Wally Webb. He chased a perfectly good meal away before we could get in position.

MRS GIBBS enters accompanied by two ZOMBIES

ZOMBIE 1:
I believe that was your boy right there.

MRS GIBBS:
It makes no difference in the end. He tastes just the same as the rest of them.

ZOMBIE 2:
We’ve most likely overrun the town by now. Does one more meal really matter?

MRS GIBBS:
No, I suppose it wouldn’t. But it would be one meal we wouldn’t need to share with the others. There will be so many more others soon.

ZOMBIE 1:
And I’m already starving. What about that Crowell boy?

ZOMBIE 2:
He already spoiled. He’ll turn soon enough anyway. Another fuck up from that Webb boy. We should’ve let him run wild with the rest.

ZOMBIE 1:
What we should have done is leave him with his sister.

MRS GIBBS:
It wouldn’t have worked. Wally was too excited and too emotional to just leave behind. Let him have George.

ZOMBIE 1:
And if your son gets away?

MRS GIBBS:
I know where he will run to. Come, I am positively famished.

ZOMBIE 1:
And of the Crowell boy?

MRS GIBBS:
Drag him along, nibble if you so choose. He will need a little assistance when he turns anyway.

MRS GIBBS leaves and both ZOMBIES drag SI CROWELL as they follow. The STAGE MANAGER drags a chair and a chest on stage and arranges them to look like a car and its trunk.

STAGE MANAGER:
Lets check on George real quick, shall we?

GEORGE GIBBS runs back onto stage and runs up to the chair. He attempts to start his “car”

GEORGE:
C’mon you piece of shit! Start! C’MON!

George fails to start the car and gets out. He then runs to the back and opens the chest and roots through its contents. WALLY WEBB enters

WALLY:
End of the line, farmer boy.

GEORGE GIBBS pulls a shotgun out from the chest and points it at WALLY WEBB

WALLY:
Uh…wait. How do you…

GEORGE:
All us “farmer boys” get one. Not look precious for me.

WALLY:
Wait, George! Let’s talk about-

GEORGE GIBBS fires at WALLY WEBB, blowing away his head. WALLY WEBBS corpse falls over.

GEORGE:
Alright. Out of gas and I just killed my already dead brother-in-law. I need to get to town and find some gas, but there might be more of these things. Fuck, I sure picked a choice day to return home.

GEORGE GIBBS goes back to the chest and pockets all the extra shells and reloads his shotgun before taking off back to Grover’s Corners. The STAGE MANAGER drags away the chest, chair and WALLY WEBB, then takes his place in the center of the stage

STAGE MANAGER:
Lets change the scene. This place should be familiar. The Webb’s and Gibbs’ respective homes. In one house, Doc Gibbs is holding up with his daughter and current son-in-law, while Mr Webb and his wife are holding out in their own home. Outside we have a nice congregation of the dead, and newly dead.

From one side, SIMON STIMSON and HOWIE NEWSOME enter. MRS GIBBS enters from the other side, followed by both other ZOMBIES who are dragging SI CROWELL

SIMON:
He about to turn?

ZOMBIE 2:
Yup.

SIMON:
Stick him over by Newsome then.

The ZOMBIES dump SI CROWELL over by HOWIE NEWSOME

HOWIE:
I still don’t understand what’s happening.

ZOMBIE 1:
Patience. I only want to explain this once.

SI CROWELL wakes up and looks around in a daze.

SI:
What’s happening? What’s going on?

SIMON:
I don’t see how adding to our group is going to help us.

ZOMIBE 1:
It will once we spread out beyond the town.

ZOMBIE 2:
Yeah. Doesn’t take many of us to knock over a small town, but imagine how many it would take to take out a whole city.

SIMON:
I prefer quality over quantity any day.

SI:
Wait, what? I don’t understand.

HOWIE:
I’m with you on that, Si. But I do feel terrible. I think Doc Gibbs should give me a look when I get that chance.

MRS GIBBS:
You’re both dead, make no mistake. My husband, or any doctor for that matter, is of no use to you.

SI:
Then what’s this about?

MRS GIBBS:
This is no different than our own deaths, except you never had to leave your body. Eventually you will feel yourself detach from the trivial worries of life. What will linger however will be the hunger.

HOWIE:
Now that you mention it, I am feeling hungry. I think I’ll fix me a sandwich when I get home.

MRS GIBBS:
No, you wont. Sandwiches wont satisfy you anymore.

HOWIE:
Then what will?

MRS GIBBS attempts to speak, but stops herself. She smiles and looks to her fellow zombies behind her.

MRS GIBBS:
I have quite the idea.

SIMON:
What would that be?

MRS GIBBS:
Let them go.

ZOMBIE 1:
I thought we were gonna bring them up to speed?

MRS GIBBS:
Why not let them find out for themselves? Howie? Si? Pick a house. Let the people inside try to help you. When you finish, come out and we can continue our trip through town.

SI:
Finish what? What are you talking about?

MRS GIBBS:
You’ll know when it happens. Now pick.

SI:
Well…You said a doctor wouldn’t be able to help us, so I guess the Gibb home wont be of any more use than the Webb. And no offense Mrs Gibbs, but I just plain don’t like you right now, or your intentions, dead or not, so I think I’ll take my chances with the Webbs.

MRS GIBBS:
So be it.

HOWIE:
I think we should stick together, Si. Even warn the Webbs about what’s happening out here.

MRS GIBBS:
Fine, sure. Warn them about us. But I promise you we won’t harm the Webbs. We won’t need to.

HOWIE:
Lets go, Si. *Knocks on the Webb’s front door* Mr Webb? Anyone? Please open up! It’s Howie Newsome and I need help, please!

MR WEBB:
Howie? *Opens door* You look terrible. Oh my, and Si as well! Were you both attacked? We’ve been hearing the craziest things about the dead walking about. Myrtle, prepare a couple beds!

HOWIE NEWSOME and SI CROWELL enter the Webb home and walk off stage with MR WEBB

SIMON:
What, may I ask, will that accomplish?

MRS GIBBS:
They’ll kill the Webbs for us. Besides, my son is coming and this might be our last chance to get a solitary meal without having to share.

ZOMBIE 1:
What about the Gibbs’ in the house right now?

MRS GIBBS:
We can eat them after.

SIMON:
Nonsense. You two can eat the boy when he arrives. Mrs Gibbs, we can get inside now and eat the rest of your family.

MRS GIBBS:
Oh, and you have a plan to do so?

SIMON:
Yes, simple but effective. Not every plan needs to be overly complicated. The simpler the better sometimes. Just follow me around back.

ZOMBIE 2:
Why do we need to share one guy while you two eat everyone inside?

SIMON:
Because you two are useless to the plan. No one will let any of us into their home as easily as Newsome and Crowell because people think those two are still alive. No one will just open their door to us because we’ve been dead too long to fool anyone. Now stop arguing with me and maybe we can all eat. You can either both share one meal with each other, or share with all four of us. Which will it be?

ZOMBIE 1:
Uh…you two go on ahead. We got the Gibbs boy.

SIMON STIMSON and MRS GIBBS disappear around back while the ZOMBIES remain in front.

ZOMBIE 2:
What was that about?

ZOMBIE 1:
Odds are, they might fail. At least we’re guaranteed to get a meal, and we wont have to share now.

ZOMBIE 2:
Oh. Good thinking.

ZOMBIE 1:
Shit, here comes that boy now. Hide.

GEORGE GIBBS enters right after the two ZOMBIE crouch down and hide

ZOMBIE 1:
Way to fall into a trap, Gibbs!

ZOMBIE 2:
Get him!

GEORGE GIBBS immediately headshots one zombie with his shotgun before pushing the other to the ground.

ZOMBIE 1:
No one told me he was armed!

GEORGE GIBBS kills the remaining ZOMBIE

GEORGE:
Fuck. There are more or them. Hopefully dad and Rebecca are alright.

GEORGE GIBBS runs up to his old houses front door and starts pounding

GEORGE:
Let me in! Please!

DOC GIBBS:
Find somewhere else to stay!

GEORGE:
It’s me, dad. George!

DOC GIBBS:
I’m not falling for that one!

GEORGE:
Just open the door and look at me!

DOC GIBBS:
You must think I’m some kind of idiot.

GEORGE:
Well…Kinda, but not for the reasons you think.

Glass breaks off stage followed by REBECCA GIBBS screaming

DOC GIBBS:
Oh no!

GEORGE:
I’m coming in!

GEORGE GIBBS kicks in the door and rushes in. REBECCA GIBBS runs to DOC GIBBS

DOC GIBBS:
Rebecca, where’s your husband?

REBECCA:
They got him. We were in back looking out the window when suddenly Simon Stimson reached through the window…and…and…

GEORGE:
They’re in the house now?

DOC GIBBS:
George? It’s really you? Wait, Simon Stimson? Are you sure?

REBECCA:
He wasn’t alone.

GEORGE:
Who else?

MRS GIBBS: (off stage)
Ah, if it isn’t my loving family.

Enter MRS GIBBS

GEORGE:
HuZuh?

DOC GIBBS:
Julia…

REBECCA:
…mom?

MRS GIBBS:
Oh how I missed you all. Come to me. All of you.

REBECCA GIBBS begins to run to MRS GIBBS, DOC GIBBS is motionless and GEORGE GIBBS cocks his shotgun and pulls REBECCA GIBBS back.

REBECCA:
What do you think you’re doing?

DOC GIBBS:
George, put the gun down. That’s your mother.

GEORGE:
We buried her, remember?

MRS GIBBS:
I’m alright now, honey. I just want my family back.

DOC GIBBS:
George, put the damn gun down.

GEORGE:
I met Wally Webb earlier. He killed Si Crowell and came after me. Something’s wrong here. These aren’t the people we knew and loved!

MRS GIBBS: (To off stage where Simon is)
I don’t think this plan is gonna work. If you don’t mind, I’m just going to kill them anyway.

REBECCA:
…What?

MRS GIBBS:
Come to momma!

MRS GIBBS lunges at REBECCA GIBBS and grabs her arm. DOC GIBBS attempts to intervene but stops when he sees SIMON STIMSON enter.

SIMON:
(Sigh) No one ever wants to commit to a good plan.

MRS GIBBS attempts to bite REBECCA GIBBS but GEORGE GIBBS grabs her by the hair and yanks her away.

MRS GIBBS:
Is that any way to treat your mother?

GEORGE:
No. And neither is this.

GEORGE GIBBS shoots MRS GIBBS point blank in the face, killing her.

SIMON:
No one told me her was armed!

SIMON STIMSON runs off stage. GEORGE GIBBS gives chase but shortly returns.

GEORGE:
He got away out the window.

DOC GIBBS:
Seriously. I need to know exactly what’s going on. The dead are walking around, killing people? And why the hell are you back all of a sudden?

GEORGE:
I have nothing to do with this, I swear. We need to get out of here though. I’ve got a car, it just needs gas. We can get to town, get some and get the hell out of here.

DOC GIBBS:
And how are we doing that with these…things running around?

GEORGE:
I…Don’t know. At least not yet.

REBECCA:
Is Simon coming back? Is he gonna bring more of those things?

No one answers. The lights dim until only the Stage Manager is lit up in the middle of the stage.

STAGE MANAGER:
As you can all see. Things are only just beginning to take shape. I think now would be a good time to end the first act. Smoke em if you got em!

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