January 1, 2012

Adventures in Oblivion - The Legend of TheoKickAssius

[...Posted by Ted H]

Taking a break from posting non stop Safe Haven...and since whenever I take a break from anything, I play games, I felt writing about a play through seems fitting.
I picked up Oblivion cuz it was mad cheap ever since Skyrim came out, go figure...There will be a lack of pictures since I'm lazy like that...

[Adventures in Oblivion]

This is the story of my Elder Scrolls IV run. The Legend of TheoKickAssius.

I’m still coming to terms with what’s happening. Right now I’m battling demons and trying to breach my way into a ruined city to rescue the bastard child of a Star Trek captain…maybe two hours ago I was a penniless and poor prisoner, serving out his life sentence for hunting Bambi out of season. The fucking king, Captain Picard himself let me out…well, not really. He was running for his life with his personal entourage and his secret passage out of dodge was located in my cell…yeah, I’m still kicking myself over that one. A secret way to freedom in my cell and I didn’t use it? Morgan Freeman would be so disappointed.

Anyway, with nothing better to do, I decide to hook up with Picard and company and run to the sewers, not before grabbing my cellmate, Bonesy, a skull that was keeping me company in prison. I cheer from the sidelines as the entourage fights off a bunch of cloaked dudes. There were two guys and a woman protecting the king, guess who dies in the fight? After I knick the dead woman’s sword for myself, the remaining guards tell me to fuck off as they go through another door and lock it behind them. Great…

Not to be deterred, I decide there has to be another way out akin to the secret passage in my fucking prison cell. Rats galore were there to meet me as I made my way around to inevitably catch up to the king, who had some unhealthy fascination with me. Normally I would object to such attention, but when you’re a prisoner and the mother fucking king dreams about you, then things can’t get much worse anyway. As I wade through the rats, I happen across a skeleton with a bow and some arrows.

Good news, since prisons don’t normally allow inmates to have weapons then this dead guy came in from the outside, meaning that this secret path will indeed lead me out of here…the bad news apparently is that something more dangerous than a rat did this guy in. Whatever, soon as I find the king, I’ll let his entourage do all the fighting while I hide behind Picard.

That is indeed what happens as I reunite with the guards and, at Picard’s insistence, I’m handed a torch and told to just stay out of the way. Another guard promptly gets killed as another robed man sneaks up behind everyone and kills Picard. I’m then handed a Magoffin and told to find some monk. The last remaining guard hands me a key and tells me to leave while he stays with the kings body to keep anyone from looting it, which is good because that was what I was trying to do when he was talking to me.

Out into the outside world for the first time in who knows, the first thing I do is kill a couple bandits and take their clothes. They will be the first of many, many naked corpses I leave in my wake. Decked out in my new threads of leather armor, I hit up the monk and figure I can at least to the main quest until I get my bearings. He tells me we need to find the kings illegitimate son or the world will end (…eventually). The sons home is Kvatch, which is on the southwest most corner of the world (naturally) and I’m currently in the middle. I’m given a horse and told to get moving.

How hard could this be?

Next time: It will be hard.

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