April 28, 2013

Allen Bee Cautious

[Posted by Ted H]

In a continuing effort to keep this blog from being 100% zombies/unholy creatures/apocalypse shit, I'm gonna put something up that is more, non-R rated.
...Instead we have another entry into the "Why Ted shouldn't be allowed to write children's books" series.
The zombies at the end are purely aesthetic to the conclusion and add nothing to the main story, so I can still get away with that...

This was done back in the day, part of a creative writing exercise. If you fail to see what the challenge was for this 26 sentence piece, then kindly exit this blog and go back to third grade.

Something a little more...substantial to come next week...maybe even a poem...


Allen never cared much for the bees flying about. Bees usually just left him alone, and he did the same. Carelessly they would ignore each others existence until Allen’s friend, Danny came by. Danny, unlike Allen, despised the bees. Every time he saw one, he talked about how he would one day get rid of them. Finally one day, he told Allen he had devised a plan to rid himself of the bees. Gleefully he showed Allen a special rock he had found. He hurled the rock as hard as he could at a nearby hive. Instantly, the hive erupted with hundreds of angry bees. Just as Allen realized what was going on, the bees had overtaken him. Kicking and screaming, he tried to run away. Looking about, he soon saw Danny running to a nearby lake. Moving as fast as he could, Allen ran to the lake as well. Not a moment too soon, they jumped into the water. Once they were safe from the bees, Allen started scolding Danny for his foolish deed. Playing innocent, Danny said that his rock had nothing to do with the attack and that the bees were just naturally mean. Questioning his friend, Allen went to leave. Right as he got out, the bees started attacking again, sending Allen back into the water. Soon it was night and neither boy could leave the lake without fear of a bee attack. The boys soon grew cold from being in the water so late at night. Under the late night moon, the boys decided to make a run for it. Very quickly they jumped out of the lake and ran. While running, Danny saw the lights of his house. “X marks the spot!” he cried while pointing home. Yelling is what his mother did when she saw them finally come in after being out so late. Zombies were waiting for them there, which really made no sense at all.
SPECIAL UBER BONUS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[All-the-way to Zealots]
Although Being Careless
Does Earn Fools Greatly Hated Incidents
Just Keep Laughing.
Make No Obvious Pursuits
Qualifying Ridiculous Stops
To Unusually Vibrant, Wacky, Xenophobic
Yacking Zealots.

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